April 1st, 2002

KNM Norge at full speed trials

Medical humour

Kindly passed along by KIRR (whom none of you know).

Ever wonder what your doctor REALLY writes in your chart? Here are a few gems written, we must assume, by absent-minded professionals in a hurry!

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. 0n the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
3. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in I993.
4. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
5. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
6. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
7. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
8. Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
9. She is numb from her toes down.
10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
11. The skin was moist and dry.
12. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
13. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
14. She stated that she had been constipated for most other life, until she got a divorce.
15. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for Physical therapy.
16. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
17. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
18. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.