March 16th, 2002

KNM Norge at full speed trials

Messageboards under different political sustems

Originally posted by The Real Zippy at The Bar, at the Politics, History and Current Affairs Message Board:

Communist Message Board: Everyone e-mails their posts to a central committee, which posts to the board the ones it thinks everyone needs.

Anarcho-syndicalist board: people take it in turns to be moderator for a day.

Democratic republic board: The people all elect a moderator, who reveals himself to be an evil tyrant once elected.

Fully democratic message board: The people all have to vote on decisions that a moderator would normally make. This means it takes three weeks to ban the guy who sets up an automated gibberish posting program.

Fascist message board: One moderator has supreme power. Everyone posts whatever he tells them to or is banned

Nazi message board: Like the Fascist board, but an incorrect post gets you 'terminated'.

Socialist message board: If you make more than two posts in a day, your extra posts are deleted and given to the people who didn't make any.

Capitalist message board: whoever makes the most posts gets to be moderator. This turns bad when the guy who has an automated posting program arrives.

Message boards run by American political parties:

Democrat message board: All the fast typists have their fingers broken so they don't make the slow typists feel inadequate.

Republican Board: Only accessible to those with a 256k link, because the corporate sponsors put seventy banner ads on each page.

Ralph Nader's message board: Won't be online until they figure out how to run a message board without using electricity.

Pat Buchanan message board: Doesn't exist on the internet. Each participant prays for their posts to be be written on the sky in letters of fire.

Australian Politics Special:

Liberal message board: to gain membership, you have to apply to the moderator and wait for a year until he lets you in. Aside from that, copies whichever American political party message board is the most popular.

Labour message board: exactly like the Liberal party board, but pretends to be different.

Democrats message board: the posters spend all their time bitching about the Liberal and Labour message boards. The moderator leaves for another message board because this one's too small.

Greens message board: Contains a wonderfully inspiring greeting message, but doesn't function.

The Nationals board: They don't have a board - just a forum within the Liberal board. But they pretend they still have their own board.

One Nation board: doesn't need a moderator - all the subscribers are too dumb to use a computer, so no posts are ever made.