Pengolodh (s.c) (pengolodh_sc) wrote,
Pengolodh (s.c)
pengolodh_sc

Something I harvested off the net a few years ago

Are You a Prospective Intelligence Officer?


Since the career panel may decide to administer written examinations for candidates seeking certification as professional Intelligence Officers, we are passing along these sample questions to help you prepare for the ordeal.

Typical Qualifying Examination

Read each question thoroughly. Answer all questions. Time limit - four hours.

History

Describe the history of all religions from their earliest origins to the present day. Prove which is best in a manner that will convince all others.


Medicine

You will be given a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You will have 15 minutes to complete this operation.


Public Speaking

2500 riot-crazed fanatics will be turned loose in a classroom with you. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin and Greek.


Biology

Create life. You are required to estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this life-form had developed 500 millions ago, with special attention to the effects on our next election. Prove who would have been our next prime minister and why.


Music

Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.


Psychology

Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate their emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of the following: Alexander, Ramsesall, Gregory of Nicoa, Joan of Arc, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each person's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.


Sociology

Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct a full-scale experiment to test your theory.


Management Science

Define management and science. How do they relate? Create a generalized algorithm that can be used to optimize all managerial decisions. Design the systems interface and prepare all software necessary to program this algorithm on whatever computer may be selected by the examiners.


Engineering

The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle will be placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted into your room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.


Economics

Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the National Debt. Trace the possible effects on your planet, on the wave theory of light, and on the overcrowding of citizens band radio channels.


Political Science

With a quarter that you will be given, go to any pay phone and start World War III. Report on its socio-political effects, if any.


Epistemology

Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.


Physics

Explain the nature of matter. Your answer must include an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics and science, plus the possible effect of electromagnetic radiation on global pollution and on the love life of radar operators who spend long hours in that environment.


Philosophy

Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare this with the development of any other kinds of thought.


General Knowledge

Describe everything you know in detail. Be objective and specific.


Extra Credit

Define the universe and give three examples.
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